Wedding bells part 2 – warts and all

30th October 2025

We both have a huge amount of pride in what we achieved to get Pollards ready and an equal amount of relief that the event we have been building up to for the last year is done and dusted. We have to say a big thank you to the gardening team (including us) who put in a shift and a half in the couple of weeks leading up to it. As the sun rose on the dance floor that morning we knew that Pollards Mill was going to come into its own and the gardens were going to be the star of our show.

Behind the scenes there was a whole story that you will enjoy and the telling of will be cathartic. Dear reader be reassured that as the dramas unfolded, there was a little stress felt by us (to say the least) but this was not in our brief and for the most part we found it funny. I write this with utmost diplomacy I’m sure you can read between the lines. Any film directors out there … Woody Allen … we are open to offers.

The unraveling of order as we knew it began 10days before. Now bear in mind we are just offering the venue, everything else was being organised by the wedding planner. At this stage we had a wedding planner. They were coordinating the caterers, the tents, the tables, the lighting, the cars, make up, flowers etc and the bar. All booked deposit paid. Happy days.

THEN …….

The arrival on island of the bank roll. The wedding planner was sacked and the budget cut. Things were divvied up to different/cheaper parties. We had a new wedding planner parachuted in. Talk about last minute. Communication plummeted and chaos ensued.

Amongst all this we had been let down by the third lot of coconut men and the trees were still laden with nuts and old leaves right in the path to the catering area. We got creative and roped them off with fairy lights.

The day dawns and there is a sense of anticipation. Surely everything is in order now. We have received the timeline of proceedings. The wedding is at 3pm. At 4pm the limo will make its way down the road, at which point we will ceremoniously open our new automated gates. All the minibuses will follow the bridal party and let guests off outside the gates.

You guessed it.

We waited at the gates…. In our glad rags …. The gate’s remote in our sweaty palms, waiting to ping ….

At 4pm. The caterers had not arrived with the canapés, the ice had not arrived and the barman, a little fraught …was asking if we had a bottle opener. The wedding planners assistant has been in a car accident, so the mill is still full of cardboard boxes containing the seating plans and table decorations. Even better there is a box of pampers on the dance floor.

4.15… nothing

4.30 the ice arrives and shortly after that the food, pulling up in a pick up truck blocking the drive and the entrance …luckily no drama because it would have plenty time to unload and reverse out before there was any action.

The timeline had the bride starting to get ready with hair and makeup at 8am, apparently the first layer of slap went on at 11 so it’s not altogether surprising she was an hour late for her nuptials.

5pm … I’m trying to find toothpicks for the caterers who have forgotten them and Richard hollers …”they’re here”…..

I look up and the train of white ZR minibus taxis were making their way down the drive. If any of you have been to Barbados, you will know the reputation of ZRs. They love a race, they over and undertake with gay disregard to anything in their way, they stop to pick up passengers anywhere and are generally somewhat chaotic. Picture this… 100 people to get from a church to a venue, well 98 as two are in a limo. A slow limo. A slow, easy to overtake limo. Good excuse to put your foot on the gas. So the limo is at the back, behind at least 7 ZRs. Richard is blocking the ZRs from coming through the gates, I’m giggling behind the palm tree. The limo then has to mount the 30degree verge to get past the ZRs, and proceeds down the drive at a jaunty angle.

The hour delay means that cocktails on the lawn become cocktails by moonlight, as the lighting budget has been cut. There was some firm direction giving from me, as the light faded and I attempted to stop the crowds walking over the new ginger lilies. Richard meanwhile is the perfect gentleman ushering the elderly over the tree roots in the dark, with the added benefit of avoiding a broken ankle lawsuit.

We quickly established that the booze order for fizz was all nonalcoholic (in error) so none of the six cases was touched and we raided our own stash and ate cheese on toast on the patio while watching the party kick off on the lawn below.

We are delighted to say that, on the night much of the chaos went unnoticed. We would not have done it this way for our wedding but it was not our wedding. Come the hour for this couple, love conquers all, it was their day and they loved it. Everyone was effusive in their appreciation and by all accounts everyone had a ball.….. except perhaps the poor wedding planner who is by now under going treatment for PTSD.