Bat out of hell

5th March 2025

I know I’m going to get berated, told off, chastised. I know they are amazing for our ecology, I know they eat LOADS of mosquitoes and all other incredible qualities buuuuut I just don’t like them. It’s irrational … they have amazing echolocation and they are not going to get tangled up in my hair, but I just don’t like them and what if they are sick and they have a disease of the echolocation type syndrome …. We have always known in the rural location that we are in, we have bats, the guano in the mill is evidence. They don’t invade the peace of the patio or come in the house and so fine.

But this last week they have been gathering in numbers, they have told all their larger cousins and last night we had a David Attenborough type situation, as the dusk drew in and the sky darkened, clouds of them arrived. They were streaming across the lawn like a flash of something you just can’t make out, swooping, swirling and diving into our pool. Amazing you might say … well it was quite a spectacular show they were not feeding they were drinking, however who knew ….when they drink they also poo. Batshit … yuck, loads of it, and I mean loads. The bottom of the pool this morning was polka dotted. It’s full of harmful bacteria we understand. A emergency call to the pool man … luckily our weekly visit was due today anyway..

So the pool was off limits today. Google searches brought up lots of much more unfortunate people that us … diarrhoea is a big problem…. We are grateful we were not dealing with that runny problem.

Our wonderful pool man was very reassuring… the pool has been sucked clean, we have had a chlorine shock treatment and various other buckets of white powder dissolved into our pride and joy. So the story goes they move on after a bit. We need a pool cover or something to trigger the echolocation to feel “ I don’t fancy that”

After collecting more points on our favourite hardware shop loyalty card, we have a plan. Stitching together 4 tarps with some rope and we have made a pool cover.

So this evening as the sun said goodbye, we stood at the edge of the pool….. waiting…. We could visualise one by one then in great volumes … their little echolocation brains going “abort dive abort”. A serious high five situation… we are still in self imposed detox but will celebrate big time on Friday when that ends. Whoop whoop.

And all those worried about thirsty bats … feel free to invite them to your pool.